The Process of Constructing the Self and Its Relation to Psychotherapy

Conclusion Although schools of psychotherapy can teach theoretical perspectives and sets of techniques, ultimately each therapist has only one tool: him- or herself. When freed from the limitations of its unique developmental history, the self of the therapist is the most potent and flexible tool possible (Hubble, Duncan, & Miller, 1999). In a reflectively managed relationship, the therapist uses the interaction of him- or herself with the client in the intimate and reciprocal molding of one person by another. Each is changed by the process. If, however, the therapist has a limited understanding of self, especially of the preconscious procedural and imaged representations of self, and if he or she has engaged too infrequently or too incompletely in the process of integration, the power of the self may be distorted or even destructive. Neither goodwill, nor technique are sufficient to mitigate against this outcome. Indeed, they can augment its impact by relieving the unwitting therapist of self-doubt. The risk of such an outcome is especially great if the therapist has a history of distorted or difficult relationships that have not been adequately resolved. The self is a very powerful tool. In close relationships, both parental and psychotherapeutic, it can mark indelibly the emerging self of both attached person and attachment figure. One must be brave or foolish to accept the role of parent; luckily biology, in the form of sexual motivation, has (historically) eliminated the decision for most parents. For psychotherapists, the issue is different. Because they choose and train for the role of correcting developmental error, they should be comfortable with self-awareness, with the uncertainty of change, and with the process of integration of discrepant representations of self. Without these competencies, they cannot expect to guide another person, particularly a suffering person who has been exposed to threat in intimate relationships, through the challenging process of self revelation and change. Instead, they risk recreating the threat and augmenting the distortion. The self is never static, never complete. Its emergent quality creates hope. Its complexity in the form of multiple dispositional representations processed differently through the elaborateness of the human brain and integrated elegantly in the cortex creates the possibility for each person to step out of the mire of a misguided developmental history. The brain is the most flexible human organ; it is the interface between self and not self. It is at that interface, in the experience of reciprocal and reflective intimate relationships, that the self organizes and can reorganize to construct new and more adaptive strategies that both protect the self and reduce the probability of danger. In the safety of protective and comforting relationships, even seriously distorted people can realize the enduring possibility of humans for change. Psychotherapists have the opportunity to participate in and guide that process.