The Process of Constructing the Self and Its Relation to Psychotherapy

Neither parent, nor child is static. Indeed, most parents discover that, as soon as they master some aspect of child-rearing, the child has moved on and needs something new, something for which the parents are not fully prepared and for which they must change themselves. Not only do children emerge, parents emerge. Surely, psychotherapists do so as well in the process of fitting, adapting to, and nudging their clients forward. To function effectively during an attached person’s process of change, both parents and psychotherapists need self awareness, confidence with the process of personal change, and willingness to continue this process in themselves (Guidano, 1995b). Function From an evolutionary perspective, two primary functions of self organization are 1) protection of self and 2) reproduction. Parental attachment figures fulfill the protective function with regard to infants and children. Infants’ attachment behavior, for example, crying or clinging, alerts parents to infants’ need, or perceived need, to be protected. The cry can indicate actual threat to the infant and a true need for protection or, alternatively, it can indicate the infant’s perception of threat and, therefore, the need to be comforted. Attachment figures both protect and comfort the attached person; more importantly, throughout development, they assist the attached person to construct an array of strategies that protect the self from danger and regulate arousal. Spousal attachment figures fulfill both protective and reproductive functions with regard to each other. That is, even adults are conceptualized as needing help in protecting themselves, albeit from different threats than children, and as having sexual needs that are best satisfied in enduring intimate relationships that result in reproduction. Protection and reproduction interlock in several of ways. For example, the behaviors that function to maintain attachment (seeking, touching, stroking, holding, etc.) are essential to the sexual/reproductive function as well. Similarly, the protection that is promoted by attachment is essential to managing both physical safety during sexual intercourse and psychological safety in sexual relationships.